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There are days when I think about my parents, I cant breathe. This is day 2 in a row.
I will never never never never never never x99xinfinity get sick of Kate Beckinsale in black leather. Damn.

Jan. 9th, 2012

So I used to not ever be a cryer... even during the crappiest of times. And then I allowed the flood gates to open and didn't stop for a while, but then the last couple years, I've regulated myself (ha) and now it's certain things or memories or moments but not every moment. And I've had a dryspell... which is good I guess, considering.

And then I saw War Horse. Damn. So good, so heartbreaking but damn.

Jan. 6th, 2012

Snow Patrol - New York

this album is gonna be good

Dec. 31st, 2011

“Reason is powerless in the expression of Love.” -Rumi

"Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself.” -Rumi

Ok 2012. Let's see what you got. 2011, peace out!
"just in cases"
Is it weird that I still write in this?? One of the good things that has come with my old age is that, I ponder, I reflect, but I've stopped analyzing a lot. Not everything a lot... that age old question of WHY... sometimes unanswerable... sometimes doesn't matter... and I know good things, like the really really good things in life, sometimes just cannot be answered.

That is my adult preface. I sit here in November of 2011, and it has cooled down in the state of Texas... Texas is big. I have this weird saying in my head, of giving someone a Texas-sized something... a Texas-sized hug.. but the point is that it's big, sometimes to the point of unnecessary (in my mind of course) and extreme, which explains the weather. It's super cold, then kinda warms up, then goes to super hot, and now it's really cold about to get super cold. I think I've realized, I need to be seduced. Sometimes, not always... and this goes with the weather. A dramatic switch, of course, I can adapt and hang with and roll with the punches, but damn, texas, you need to seduce me sometimes, foreplay can be nice sometimes. Keywords: can, sometimes.

I think it has dawned on me that it's officially weird everyone my age that I went to school with is married, has kids, both... buying houses, and all that. I guess buying houses is not a big deal but it could be a big deal if it's with someone else.

And it's taken me 10 months, almost 11 months, to let the plan - the big plan - PLAN - unfold as to why I am here. I have almost had this hinting regret of not moving to Denver... of coming here with no guarantees, of having my job opp not go through because the center closed down - to be involved with New Mexico but they're struggling... and to find myself... going, I should just do the dang thing. I should open up my own center, start my own coaching and transformational center. I said I would never do it, I said I would never be THAT person. But I think I just might be. Christine approached me with the idea, and I was surprised I was open. To start a life changing thing with someone I just met about a year ago. Why her? Why me? Why here?

There's that WHY question... but I don't need answers, I don't think. I'm surrendering... I'm open... I'm thinking.

Could this really be it?
Switchfoot - Restless.


The Daylights - I hope this gets to you

Coldplay - Up In Flames

sooooo good.

Ah, it feels good to be back in harmony with this band.
"Until we have seen someone’s darkness, we don’t really know who they are. Until we have forgiven someone’s darkness, we don’t really know what love is."

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